hardcore

I went camping on the Olympic Peninsula with Sean, Jamie, and Kevin this week. It was a typical peninsula fall week... i.e. raining and suuuuuper cloudy. We went for a little hike in the clouds one day, but Kevin and I decided that we didn't have enough of the clouds, so we kept going up while Sean and Jamie went back down to get the car and meet us at the top of the trail. We ended up hiking 10 miles. Now, 10 miles on its own, not too bad... 10 miles in the windy rain, getting a little more hardcore... 10 miles in the rain in Chacos, borderline stupid... 10 miles in the rain in Chacos with the crazy stomach cramps, just another day in the life of Kate Maxwell. I'm just that cool.

Fast food to the MAX

On Sunday, I was fortunate enough to get to hang out with my good friend Ingrid Harper. I rolled out of bed around noon and she came over shortly after. Following doing not much of anything for about an hour, we decided that we should go to Dick's (more affectionately known as Richard's) to get some cheeseburgers and chocolate shakes. It was tasty.

Then, after a few hours of watching stupid TV and movies, we decided to go to church then grab some dinner with some friends. We decided to wait until after church because we weren't super hungry, aware that we could be starving by the time that church finished. Well little did we know that the new youth pastor was being ordained and installed at that service so it lasted a lot longer than average. Thus, at 9:00 rather than the normal 8:00 we were starving and wanted to eat as fast as possible. If one finds oneself in the U District in need of food ASAP, where does one go? That's right, Richard's. So we ate at Dick's again.

We went home and then watched a couple more movies before deciding around 2 AM that we were still hungry. So we did one anyone with the munchies at 2 AM would do. We went to McDonald's. We were really hoping for some good fast food breakfast, but were informed that McDonald's only serves breakfast after 4 AM. So naturally, we had chicken nuggets instead.

After returning home for another hour or so, I was still totally craving the fast food breakfast, so we went to Jack in the Box where breakfast is served all day. I got my sausage and egg biscuit as well as some french toast sticks. We also stopped by a Red Box so we watched a good movie. Life is good.

That's right. Four fast food stops in twelve hours. I really am that awesome. And oddly enough, my stomach was totally fine after all that junk.

The best part of the McDonald's experience was when a dude got out of the car in front of us. I was jokingly hoping that he would have to pee. I figured that it would be hilarious if we saw a guy pee in the bushes while going through the drive thru at 2. But he just adjusted his pants and sat back down. Then the dude on the other side of the car opened and I was hoping that dude would have to pee. I then said, "take a pee, take a pee" but Ingrid pointed out to me that he had already gone pee based on looking at his pants. But he continued to the bushes anyway where he wrenched multiple times. So rather than seeing a drunk dude pee in the bushes, we saw one puke in the bushes... and that was the most eventful thing of my weekend.

TMI? Part II

So yesterday I went in for my colonoscopy and endoscopy, basically meaning that the doctor stuck a camera in both ends... I've heard that the worst part about this procedure is the prep. Well, I mostly agree with that, because it was, in fact, horrible. However, I'm going to have to go with the worst part being when they thought I was out and couldn't feel anything, but still felt that little camera snaking it's way up my colon. That was quite possibly the worst thing I have ever felt. Luckly, I fell asleep like I should have been after about 10 seconds... Still, that's not right.
They didn't see anything abnormal except for a little excess bile in my stomach, which apparently could be causing some of the discomfort. They also are going to do a few biopsies of stuff they took out, whatever that means. So that was that. Now I'm back to waiting.
I'm still eating whatever I want, but am more aware of what upsets my stomach. For example, I can no longer have Cheetos or pizza from Little Caesar's. The list is a work in progress.

TMI?

I get to have a colonoscopy and endoscopy on the 26th of August. So I'm gluten free for another 2-3 weeks, then going on a gluten tour of Western Washington for 2-3 weeks, then don't eat for a day... should be good times... hopefully they find something that can lead to something other than the bullshit diagnosis of IBS*. But I get to wait at least another month to find out. I guess this is why I moved back, because if I hadn't it would be yet another trip back and forth... But I wouldn't mind being in Haines for the summer... if only...

*After talking with friends, we have agreed that IBS is what doctors say you have when they know something is wrong with your digestive system, but can't tell you what it is. "Oh, you have stomach issues but don't have Celiac, Crohns, food allergies, or a parasite of some sort? Huh. It must be IBS."

wait for it...

So I went to see a GI specialist at the University of Washington Medical Center today. What did he tell me? Here's the dramatized version...

Dr: It easily could just be IBS.
Me: Wait... you're telling me that I have had such crippling pain that I've almost gone to emergency rooms and moved 1,000 miles to be closer to doctors, and this is something that I just have to deal with?
Dr: Maybe. But since this really seems to be bothering you, we'll do a colonoscopy, endoscopy to take a biopsy of (insert technical thing regarding gluten here), a full blood work-up, and more labwork on a stool sample.
Me: What is that going to tell us?
Dr: Probably everything will come back negative and it's just IBS.
Me: So I just have to live with it?
Dr: Yes. It could be Post Traumatic IBS, which would mean that it could go away eventually, but that can take years.
Me: So we're just going to test for everything rule out other possibilities?
Dr: Yes. Oh, and for the biopsy to work, you have to eat gluten for at least two weeks before.
Me: So I basically get to eat whatever I want again.
Dr: Yes.
Me: DONUTS!
Dr: Oh, and I want you to start consuming more fiber. Try citrucel.
Me: Awesome. Or something.

So where does that leave me right now? The same place I was over six months ago. What the heck stomach?!?!?

drumroll, please...

For all three of you who follow my blog, this is me publicly, internet-ly announcing that I am moving back to Seattle. Most of Haines hasn't heard for sure yet, but I'm sure it'll start trickling around, and the people that I wanted to make sure that I told personally, I have told, so here it is in blog-land. Kate Maxwell will be living in (or near) the emerald city once more. In case you haven't figured out the reason why, refer back to any post about Pedro. That pesky bugger seems to still be wreaking some havoc on my guts, so it's time to go to a place where I can get more regular help and not have to travel anywhere between 5 and 18 hours to get to a doctor. So Seattle, here I come. Look out, or you might not know what hit you.

comical stomach

While I was in Seattle the past week, I went and saw a few more doctors. We're back on the theory that I am gluten intolerant. Isn't that exciting? Someday I might have a clue about what is going on. Until then, I'll keep doing the random crap my doctor tells me to.

seattle

So, I'm back in Seattle yet again. Someday I might finally kick Pedro out of my guts. But until then, it looks like I'll just hand out with people who have letters following their names. Oh well.

tagalongs

turns out some stuff really doesn't sit well in my stomach. like girl scout cookies.

the long list...

of things I am apparently at least a little bit allergic to...
cheddar cheese, cottage cheese, cow's milk, lactalbumin (one of the proteins in dairy), yogurt, blueberry, grapefruit, orange, papaya, pear, raspberry, strawberry, alfalfa, celery, cucumber, peppers, mushroom, olive, onion, potatoes, tomatoes, buckwheat, corn, kidney beans, oat, pecan, pinto beans, rice, sesame, soy, chocolate, and coffee.
In case you're wondering what that leaves... I am pretty much eating nuts, meat, select veggies, apples, and bananas. In six weeks I get to start adding some stuff back in to see how my body reacts to it and what I can deal with. Doesn't that sound exciting?!? On the bright side, we may have finally found the source of Pedro...

intestines

So when I was in Seattle over Christmas I went to yet another new doctor who insisted on testing me for parasites. And yet again, he found nothing. So then he decided to test for Celiac disease (Gluten intolerance). So I hauled by bum back to Seattle to get some blood drawn so he could test this theory out. In the mean time I was told to have no gluten. Great. Awesome. But it actually helped a little. Amazed at how much gluten infests every food I took for granted, I avoided it (with one little setback that I paid for later) and felt amazing. So I was pretty sure I had this gluten intolerance thing. But wait. I finally talk to the doctor yesterday and the says that I don't have the gene that is present in all people with celiac, but I do have some genetic variations that resemble the disease and could make me more prone to intolerance or an allergy. What the heck does that mean? So don't eat gluten (bread, pasta, beer...) for the rest of my life on a hunch? REALLY? So I'm kinda back where I was before... Still feel ok... Have no idea what sets off that magical combination of ingredients that sets my intestines loose like a psycho doing the luge. So it looks like I might be heading to Seattle again in the not too distant future for, you guessed it, more tests. Someday I might actually get rid of all the remnants of the stomach funk formerly known as Pedro.

pedro sucks

i'm pretty sure pedro liked mexico, because there seems to be a party in my stomach, and i wasn't invited.

mv malaspina

3 days on a boat is a long time. i'm bored. but so stoked to be hanging out in haines this time tomorrow. and for the record, i think Pedro likes the cold. that little bugger.

Pedro the Lion-hearted

As seen in my earlier post, Pedro won't die. But I'm not sure if it's Pedro or nerves that has my stomach churning a little bit. I get on a ferry in about 8 hours that will contain me for the next three days and provide infinite time to question my decision and most likely make me wanna run back to Shoreline to mommy. But forward I go. I'm excited to see what is in store for me, even though it may be difficult. I am signing a 6 month lease when I get to Haines, so if things suck, it's only 6 months. You can do anything for 6 months, right? So off I go on my next adventure. I think it's time to settle down at least for a little while.

T -4 days and counting and Pedro

I leave for Alaska in 4 days. HOLY CRAP! I'm stoked, despite the large amount of things that I need to do between now and then. In case anyone was wondering, I named the unwanted creatures living inside me "Pedro." Pedro does not like me, and I do not like Pedro. It's a hate-hate relationship. Although, I think Pedro probably likes me, he just doesn't show it very well. What a jerk.