POS

So, I bought a car this weekend, but was informed by my mechanic that it is, in fact, a complete piece of crap and should commence the disposal process asap. sad. On the bright side, it was only $220...

What do I do with my days?

That's a question I have been getting a fair amount lately, so I'll go ahead and answer it. I work at Federal Mortgage, the same place that I worked at through some of college. It's a pretty good job and I'm learning about the mortgage business, so that's pretty cool. Other than that, I have been catching up on movies and tv, an endeavor that will never really be complete. I have also been known to critically assess Drew Carey as the new host of the Price is Right and complain about it to some of the people who are close to me... or anyone who I think will listen.
I spent a good portion of today filling out my application for Children of the Nations to go down to the Dominican Republic, so hopefully I'll be able to head down there for a couple months in the summer.
If you asked me six months ago where I would be in six months, what I am actually doing is no where near the answer that I would have given you, but things are good anyway. I've kinda turned into a bit of an optimist, which is a little weird, but I like it.

Not in Seattle

Well, I'm not in Seattle right now, but I'm not in Alaska either. I decided to give myself a break from life and come to the Bay Area to hang out with my Godparents and their family. So I roamed around San Francisco yesterday and today I'm hanging out in Walnut Creek. I sat for a while yesterday at Pier 39 and wondered about what I should do with my summer. Should I go to the Dominican Republic? Should I go to Greece? Or should I just wander around the US stopping wherever I know people? Which one would I regret not doing the most. Not necessarily which one would I like to do the most, but which one would I look back on and just think, "If only I had done that..." So, I think about the future but try to not let it consume my thoughts. I'm still trying to take things one day at a time. Easier said than done in some cases, but I sure as hell am growing because of it. So, life is good. Not because anything has happened to make it a better day, but because nothing has happened to make it a bad day. Things could be a lot worse.
And on the Haines front, it looks like I'm not going back for a while... like until the fall or so. It makes me sad, but it'll be good too.
oh, and check this out... hilarious!

At least people in Seattle are happy

So far, as a result of my decision to stay, I have been out to dinner at Daniel's Broiler and I have been able to partake in a bottle of Dom Perignon Champage. Can anyone say James Bond's favorite? It's nice to know that people around these parts are glad that I'm sticking around...
Now if only things would just find some stability in these parts...

Or not....

Plans change... and I don't entirely know what is going on. I'm not going back to Haines just yet. Not for at least a few weeks anyway. I'm not ready to go back and face the way things are and all that goes along with that in Haines. I still need to work on me a little bit. I feel like I have grown a ton over the past few months. I have nothing to prove in going back. I'm not going to show that I haven't done anything wrong or to try to convince people up there that I am right and that anything else is wrong. I'll go back when I feel more ready to go back. I don't know when that will be. I feel like I finally have just let God have the crap... mostly. I know that I'm still holding on to some of it, but I'm letting go. So, I'll go back when I feel like God has made me ready enough to do that. Who am I to say when that will be? I'm excited again. I'm excited to see where God will take me and when He will take me there. But I'm not in a rush.