My farmer's tan

yeah, you know you're jealous. i took this with my computer, so the contrast isn't very good, but trust me, i burnt my arm real bad until about 4 inches from my shoulder.

My Memorial Day Weekend

What did I do this weekend? A lot of nothing. It was beautiful. A little car wash, a little movie watching, a little kayaking... but overall it was a super relaxing weekend. Not quite over yet, but still. It's weird that I'm going to the DR so soonish. I know that I still have almost four weeks, but that's still a fairly short amount of time. I guess with all the relaxing I did a bit of thinking this weekend about the DR and after I get back and what things I'm doing when I get back and whether I should go to Alaska or not and all kinds of other stuff. I also thought a lot about forgiveness and stuff (big surprise), and how I'm continually called to forgive time after time. Not easy. Here's the quote (from The Bait of Satan by John Bevere) that I read that stung the most...

"Jesus eliminates any gray areas for judges. In fact, he says that our attitude is to be so far removed from avenging ourselves that we are willing to open ourselves to the possibility of being taken advantage of again."

That's part of the reason why I have been thinking a lot about what is next after the DR. Am I far enough removed from the idea of avenging myself that I could move back to Haines, knowing that there is a possibility that I will be treated poorly by some people? Just one of the questions that has been going through my mind lately.

My latest non-report

Things have been pretty steady as she goes lately. Just working and hanging out with friends.
I went to see Prince Caspian last night for the midnight showing. It was good with one added plot line that made me scream at the end of the movie. Literally, I yelled, "nooooooooo" just before the flick ended and caused many people around me to kinda chuckle. Aside from that, it was really good.
I'm getting pretty stoked for the DR. I leave five weeks from today, so it's getting close. And I thought today was hot...

My Past...

>confuses me
>has been a path to who I am
>had/has a purpose
>is something I need to dwell on less
>isn't so bad

My Future...

~is up in the air
~makes me wonder
~has endless possibilities
~makes me excited
~scares me a little
~is known by someone bigger than me
~holds a few surprises
~will be amazing

My Life...

-is pretty good
-is short
-confuses me
-makes me smile
-makes me cry
-makes me hungry
-has some crazy twists
-is a reminder i'm small
-rocks my socks off
-is a blessing
-is like a box of chocolates
-is unknown
-makes this world better
-could go anywhere in the near future
-is dang good

My Version... Wha Happa?

Ok, so I've been giving a lot of thought to this whole, "what happened in Alaska?" thing. As for details, it's all just a blur, but here's the brief overview...
I went up there to make a positive impact on the people around me. I saw a change in the kids that go to camp, and I wanted to be a part of helping them maintain that throughout the year. I went up there as a part of a ministry that was the brainchild of one of my best friends, Amy. She was the dreamer and visionary I was the planner and more detail-oriented one. It should have worked out super well. But, as two people, we had our differences. And somehow, rather than work through those differences, we let ourselves become bigger than we are. It became a sort of me vs. her thing. We each kinda expected people to take sides, loosing sight of the fact that we're on the same side. (not "we were" on the same side, but "we are"...) We focused more on the ways that our views differed than on what we wanted to see get done. Rather than focusing on the positive change in the Kingdom of God that made her so passionate and that I got fired up to be a part of, we focused on ourselves and we scrutinized everything that was wrong with the friendship. In a nutshell, we lost sight of what mattered. Rather than loving the Lord our God with all our heart and soul and mind and strength and loving our neighbor as ourselves (Matt 22:37), we fought. We did not keep our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith (Heb 12:2). We let ourselves become bigger than the God that we were (and still are) called to serve. We did not bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you had against one another. And we definitely did not forgive as the Lord forgave us (Col 3:13). It's sad that things are in the place they are right now. I was about to say it's sad that it ended up this way, but the end is not yet here. I don't know what things will look like in a day or a week, let alone a year or longer, but the end is not yet upon us. God is still very active in Haines and in whatever the heck happened between me and Amy. He continues to bring healing to me, and I can only hope and pray that he is doing the same for Amy.
Although I haven't talked to her, so I can't say for sure, I am almost positive that Amy and I still want to see the same things happen in Haines. We want to see kids be affected by a week at camp away from their problems. We want to see those kids have a support system in place for when they get back from camp. We want to see Rainbow Glacier Camp grow and expand. I hope someday we can.
That's the best that I can articulate it now. Maybe in another few months I will have a different take on things or be able to say it more concisely, but for now, that's all I got. I'm excited to see how God continues to work in me.

My Puppy... Tikka

Did I mention we got a puppy? I pretend that she's mine, but she's really my parents'. This pic is the day after we got her (two weeks ago). Note that she is far too small to make it up the one normal sized step...

My Niece, Calla

My favorite niece. She was born on Sunday, and this picture was taken on Monday, so she's real fresh.

My Nephew, Owen

Here's a pic of one of the two cutest kids I've seen... He's is just over 9 months old.

My Amazing Weekend...

I got to hang out with my brother, sis-in-law and nephew, and then my other bro and sis-in law had a baby girl last night!! So rad!!

Things will be good when...

Life is... good. I'm stoked for where things are going, but lately I feel like I've been looking forward too much and not living in the moment enough. Sometimes I feel like I've checked out and I'm just coasting until June when I can head to the Dominican. But I have been living that way for a long time. I constantly have these goals that I say, "life will be good when..." Right now, my thought is "life will be good when I can head down to the DR." But I'm tired of just waiting and coasting. By doing that I miss out on a lot of satisfaction that could be found along the way. So, I'm going to work on living in the moment and not focusing on the past or future. Not a small order, but I've gotta give it a shot.

Check one off the list...

On my list of things to do in my lifetime, seeing the Northern Lights was pretty dang high up there... But on luckily enough there was a solar storm about a week ago, and as a result, the lights were out Wednesday night. SO BEAUTIFUL!
I think it was really good for me to go to Haines. Right now I'm hanging out at the waffle house in Juneau, which is a must on any layover in Juneau that is longer than 4 hours. This fits the bill nicely. I like waffles. I'll be sure to write more on my experience in Haines later.

Maxwell House North!!!

It's so good to be back in Haines. I love it here. It makes me even more sad that I had to leave, but I still know that I made the right choice in leaving and, more importantly, in staying gone. Things have been really good since being back. Sure, there have been some awkward conversations and interactions, but overall, it's been totally normal. I haven't seen some people, which I think is a slight attempt on their part to not make a scene, which is fine by me. I've done just about everything here that I wanted to do, which has been really good, and I've gotten to reconnect with a lot of people and get a lot of closure, which is pretty much what I came here to do. If I get a better internet connection, I'll post some crazy cool pics (this one is painfully slow).

Day In, Day Out

It very much seems that I have settled into a routine here. I work 40 hoursish a week, I hang out with people in the evenings, and I try to live up the weekend a little before Monday hits again. Things aren't bad though. It feels good to have settled in a little. Sure, I wish that it wasn't here in Seattle that I was settled, but the settled feeling is good none-the-less. Work is alright. I'm learning a lot, which is good. I still don't want to have a desk job for the rest of my life, but for now it's fine. I am glad that it's just for a finite amount of time. Right now I'm trying to convince my boss that most of what I do in the office can be done from elsewhere... that way I can work for him still after I get back from the DR, wherever that may be (which is still ideally Alaska). I really don't have much to report.... Although I have been Craigslist shopping a lot lately, so maybe I'll have some fun news on something that I buy... that'd be cool. Until next time, over and out.